Modern Library Rank |
Title & Author |
What the Cover of My Classic Looks Like |
Let's Bitch about this Classic |
What's Going on in My Life at the Time I Read this Classic |
Classic Bitch Rank |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Click here to view the list thus far as rank ordered by Classic Bitch. | |||||
| 48 | The Rainbow by D.H. Lawrence (1915) |
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SHHH! READING IN PROGRESS... | Summer 2010– LIFE IN PROGRESS... |
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| 49 | Women in Love by D.H. Lawrence (1920) |
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This book would be better titled: Men in Love...with each other! more... |
Spring–Summer 2010: In this stretch, I both begin and end online dating again (12 coffee dates over 2.5 months yield no viable candidates); I start a light bookkeeping gig for a friend; camping at Kettle Pond I am the only one brave enough to jump in the 55-degree water; due to some bad news an intimate relationship gets rocky again; I do some open-mic public storytelling & some stand-up comedy and enjoy both; Dad & I Eurail around Switzerland & Germany for 10 days(!); I play volleyball casually with pals a few times & forget how much I like it; 4th of July in Cabot. | 47 |
| 50 | Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller (1934) |
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I feel like the Modern Library has hit me with a three-combination punch: Roth, Mailer, & Miller right in a row. I am up to my eyeballs in disparaging epithets for women and their genitalia. How does reading this crap NOT take a toll?? more... |
Winter 2010–Spring 2010: Dad & I celebrate our birthdays together in NYC; Margaret & I attend the Neko Case concert in St. J; I volunteer at the Green Mountain Film Festival this year; first public storytelling event is popular and a big success(!); my father is being sued; I run a special "80's edition" trivia game at LSC; a little freelancing for UVM starts again; I attend the second Passover seder of my life (Michael & I make homemade gefilte fish!?); I am currently suffering for an NSA relationship that chronically leaves me wanting a string or two: Think I have to end it/I am sad. | 39 |
| 51 | The Naked and the Dead by Norman Mailer (1948) |
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Far shorter books have taken me much longer to read. My copy is 721 pages, but I knock off nearly 1/5 of it over two late weekend mornings spent in bed—my favorite time to read! more... |
Winter 2010: A few needed adjustments on my car leaves it a joy to drive & me with a little crush on my mechanic; doing OK by my new year's resolution to make plans with friends & get out more; I set the wheels in motion to produce & emcee a storytelling event on March 22 about which I am very excited; after much deliberation I willingly & happily resign my managerial role of the WNBR this year; planning & executing my 41st birthday leaves me, & those in attendance, joyously energized. | 22 |
| 52 | Portnoy's Complaint by Philip Roth (1969) |
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Eminently readable. Easy to go on a tear & just plow right through it quickly, as I did. more... |
Winter 2010: You can set your watch to our "January thaw," this year following right on the heels of some below-zero temps; just beginning to make plans for my birthday next month. | 36 |
| 53 | Pale Fire by Vladimir Nabokov (1962) |
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Here again on a list of best novels is a book I would be hard pressed to describe as a novel; it really isn't. Unusual reading. Entertaining in spots but...unusual. more... |
Autumn 2009–Winter 2010: I 10-day fast/cleanse for the 6th year running; Michael & I have a great time spending both holidays together (along with Moxie); my desire in the note below becomes prediction & then reality when I buy a used Audi TT in Michigan over Thanksgiving weekend & drive it back through Canada, whereupon I promptly sell my busted Subaru to auction (good riddance); intimate relationships find a new equilibrium; I run a wild trivia "pool" on New Years Eve that will go down as a personal success but a public failure. | 40 |
| 54 | Light in August by William Faulkner (1932) |
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If you should read but one Faulkner, make it Light in August. more... |
Autumn 2009: Friends & family reunion foliage cruise from Quebec City to Boston; freelance work continues, car situation still pends (but I'd love to trade my Subaru Baja for an Audi TT!), 1st Halloween at my "new" place sees ~25 trick-or-treaters, I begin online dating again! | 21 |
| 55 | On the Road by Jack Kerouac (1957) |
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Are you beat, or are you gone? Before you answer that question, know that midway through the last century, both of those adjectives were considered high compliments! more... |
Summer–Autumn 2009: Paula & I get a few swims in at Number 10 pond in late summer; on the cusp of—and spending a lot of time researching—either fixing my car or selling it (and getting a "new" one!); contract work for UVM continues (so I've been commuting by bus to Burlington a couple of days a week); I turn an emotional corner on a relationship, which feels at once healthy and sad. | 4 |
| 56 | The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett (1930) |
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I feel like it's been a while since the list offered up something one can just READ read. This book qualifies. more... |
Summer 2009: I am living the somewhat depressive car-less life when the transmission blows on my car after only 70K miles (thanks, Twin City Subaru for trying to lowball me on a trade-in & for not even saying, "Sorry"!?); I go dragonboating with Sheeheys & honorary Sheeheys of the PD Paddlers; pals & I take an outing to Middlebury College's Museum of Art; the traveling is the most difficult part of going to help Frenchie move from Denver to Washington DC, but we get it done! | 29 |
| 57 | Parade's End by Ford Madox Ford (1928) |
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It takes a very long time to read this befuddling 836-page cross between The Sound and the Fury, The Alexandria Quartet, Slaughterhouse-Five, Memento Mori, and Finnegans Wake. And somehow the fact that I've never even fully read two of those is perfectly fitting... more... |
Spring–Summer 2009: Love life ranges between a bit more dating, relative abandonment of online dating...at least for now, the joyous return of an erstwhile lover, and the second pregnancy scare of my life (also negative); 3rd annual WNBR (2009) Montpelier; a routine physical reveals that all of my complaints can be met with the cheery expression, "Welcome to your forties!"; couple of job interviews, & I pick up some freelance work that should keep me busy for the next three months; an unseasonably cool summer thus far, but I'm not complaining; I win $60 in a poker game! | 50 |
| 58 | The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton (1920) |
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There is a damned good reason why nobody has ever said that the "big loves" of our lives come easily. more... |
Spring 2009: I go on the first face-to-face date with a person I meet online, & after a handful of dates it becomes clear that I have met a friend...but a good one! | 33 |
| 59 | Zuleika Dobson by Max Beerbohm (1911) |
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A 24-chapter book that's only about 21 chapters too long! more... |
Spring 2009: Fun with fake tilt-shift photography; doing lots of work for the timebank; got hired for the 2010 Census; KU loses in March Madness, Green Mountain Film Festival wraps up; online dating is fun! | 45 |
| 60 | The Moviegoer by Walker Percy (1961) |
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This novel would work better as a short story. more... |
Winter 2009: I go to an art opening of my favorite painter, Craig Mooney; Miriam turns 51; Dad turns 70(!?); I think my love affair may be ending, but I am a 40-year-old woman, & it's spring, so I begin online dating. |
42 |
| 61 | Death Comes for the Archbishop by Willa Cather (1927) |
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Well written & touching, but My Antonia (another Cather offering) is far better. more... |
Winter 2009: I turn 40 years old & love it(!); for my birthday: I host a party at my new place, Dad visits from California, & we spend time up in Montreal (music, food, gambling) & time in Vermont (snowshoeing, birthday shopping, trivia game). | 30 |
| 62 | From Here to Eternity by James Jones (1951) |
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All I really need to know about men I learn in this book. more... |
Winter 2009: For Jodi's birthday we sled down the Lincoln Gap (kids, don't try this at home); three years after laser eye surgery, & I still have 20/20; I make a big, adult purchase: one of those expensive sofas you keep for life. | 20 |
| 63 | The Wapshot Chronicle by John Cheever (1957) |
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I find a used copy of this book on eBay & upon receiving it, the pages come unglued from the binding, & it promptly falls apart. more... |
Winter 2008–Winter 2009: I get the most demoralizing job rejection ever; while housesitting for Will I rediscover & affirm that 2001: A Space Odyssey is the best movie ever made; I score a sweet apartment (and am almost done moving in)! | 35 |
| 64 | The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger (1951) |
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I've read this one before. It holds up! more... |
Autumn 2008: A couple of big beautiful snowstorms; a couple of chiropractic adjustments; making plans with pals for X-mas. | 6 |
| 65 | A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess (1962) |
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"This Sunday morning the charlie read out from the book about chellovecks who slooshied the slovo and didn't take a blind bit being like a domy built upon sand, and then the rain came splash and the old boomaboom cracked the sky and that was the end of that domy." (For a translation of this, click on "more" below.) more... |
Autumn 2008: Looking at a lot of apartments but trying to stall a move until I find out about the location of a job. | 41 |
| 66 | Of Human Bondage by W. Somerset Maugham (1915) |
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I initially pick up a cool vintage paperback with Kim Novak on the cover, but it turns out to be abridged. At first I think I can get away with this, as I have read this book before. But not wanting to cheat the spirit of this project, I swap it out for the one at left (unabridged). more... |
Autumn 2008: Bryan & I bid a tearful goodbye; I drive back across country from California to Vermont with my dog stopping along the way to fly fish with Dave & Kelly in Montana; I look for housing & employment but get two of my trivia games back in the meantime(!); I am having a love affair; there are lots of parties to go to & reconnecting with friends to do; I am loved. | 19 |
| 67 | Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad (1902) |
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A new favorite author I have discovered during this project may be Joseph Conrad!? more... |
Summer–Autumn 2008: A dear friend for whom I participated in an intervention in 2007 hits her one-year sobriety mark (yay!); Bryan & I take a mini-vacation to visit my brother & his wife at their house for a few days; I 10-day fast/cleanse again this year & it goes pretty easily(!); my bank account is nearly overdrawn; I finish "spring" cleaning out in California & prepare to drive back to Vermont. | 37 |
| 68 | Main Street by Sinclair Lewis (1920) |
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Just like a food & wine pairing, Classic Bitch recommends that readers of this book listen to the album The Kinks Are the Village Green Preservation Society. more... |
Summer 2008: I begin dating (a lot!) a wonderful man while here in California, & this isn't even the speculative "new relationship" I was referring to in the previous entry just below!? What can I say? When it rains it pours, & Classic Bitch has gotten a bucket & is collecting the drops, baby!! | 16 |
| 69 | The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton (1905) |
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The classic theme of two people's love for one another just never quite coinciding is made more poignant and frustrating when set to the backdrop of fin de siecle high society & the stiflingly traditional roles of men & women therein. more... |
Spring–Summer 2008: High highs & low lows in this stretch again; as an example of the former: I may be starting a new relationship; as an example of the latter: My dad is in a world of trouble after doing something grievously wrong, and as a result of his guilt—& as a result of my brother "taking sides" in the matter—my worldview, my concept of family, and my ideas about men absolutely disintegrate; as an example of something right in the middle: I drive cross country with Moxie & meet my family in British Columbia for a little vacation. | 32 |
| 70 | The Alexandria Quartet by Lawrence Durrell (1962) |
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A single volume of all four books is out of print. As a result, this book arrives to me (from a used bookshop in Indiana) smelling like it's been sitting on the back of a toilet for over two decades. more... |
Spring 2008: I find my first three grey hairs (under the guise of "seeing" them, my brother yanks them out); I travel to California by way of Denver for an extended stay with my dad; I take birth control for the 1st time in my life but both "reasons" for my doing this unbelievably dematerialize...causing me pain; my brother quits his job; my dad & his girlfriend break up; I arrive back in Montpelier in time for the 2nd annual Montpelier WNBR (2008) which I co-organize & which goes swimmingly; I don't get the Boston job; technically I am homeless & jobless. | 25 |
| 71 | A High Wind in Jamaica by Richard Hughes (1929) |
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A weird book. Enjoyable to read but weird. more... |
Winter 2008–Spring 2008: I "graduate" from two years and nine months of therapy; I catch a rare (for me) chest cold and then head cold in rapid succession; back down to two trivia emceeing gigs, which is fine by me; I have a job interview in Boston (which goes well)—if I get it I'll move there, if I don't I'll drive out to California and stay with my dad for a few months. | 27 |
| 72 | A House for Mr. Biswas by V.S. Naipaul (1961) |
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A Bend in the River is the better Naipaul book, yet it's lower on the Modern Library's list. more... |
Winter 2008: Mercury in retrograde through my astrological sign and across my 39th birthday wreaks a blissful havoc I can't wait to experience again: I go on the first date I've been on in years; now have four trivia games to run (keeping me flush); I suffer from an attack of vertigo and swear off alcohol & caffeine (save for "special" occasions); I have a profound adult experience that gives me a lot of hope; and—at long last—my ex' buys me out of the house!!! | 46 |
| 73 | The Day of the Locust by Nathanael West (1939) |
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Skanky hos make men do crazy things! more... |
Winter 2008: Had a haircut & a dentist appointment. (What can I say? This book only took me a few days to read.) | 26 |
| 74 | A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway (1929) |
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The first time I read this book, I was in high school. more... |
Autumn 2007–Winter 2008: I 10-day fast again for the fourth year running; my year-and-a-half course of study comes to an end (as do my unemployment checks...yikes!); I spend X-mas in California with my family and the new year in Costa Rica with Frenchie. | 24 |
| 75 | Scoop by Evelyn Waugh (1938) |
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Second Waugh book so far on the list and very different from the first! more... |
Autumn 2007: Got two Thanksgivings with friends; picked up some lucrative freelance work; spent several days in bed snuggling with & dogsitting Moxie; planning some X-mas traveling with Frenchie; one week left of class & then I'm done done!? | 28 |
| 76 | The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie by Muriel Spark (1961) |
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A thin surreal novella, sparingly written, that nevertheless packs a punch! more... |
Autumn 2007: First snow of the season; got a haircut. | 12 |
| 77 | Finnegans Wake by James Joyce (1939) |
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:-( Well, that didn't last long! (See prediction below.) more... |
Summer 2007–Autumn 2007: I travel to: Paris to welcome my dad across the finish line and attend a gala ball, Boston for Lyn's surprise 40th birthday, Montreal for Candace's bachelorette party, California to spend time with friends and family, and Denver (where I have a meaningful experience and the best time of my adult life); on the advice of my therapist, I go on a meditation retreat; I lose a longstanding trivia-emceeing gig but gain a new one. | 52 |
| 78 | Kim by Rudyard Kipling (1901) |
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I'm going to go way out on a limb here and say that no book will ever rank lower than this one. I had a hard time with it and just wasn't "into" it. more... |
Spring–Summer 2007: I travel to California to surprise my dad at his bon voyage party; I endure the worst 7-week class of my life; Moxie has $1600 ACL surgery; I bring to an end my year-and-a-half-long self-imposed "relationship hibernation" (at least in principle); Will & Jill & I do Montpelier's first ever WNBR (2007); Dad drives Peking to Paris! | 51 |
| 79 | A Room with a View by E.M. Forster (1908) |
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I don't know what possesses me, but I rent & watch the Merchant-Ivory movie version about half way through the book. more... |
Spring 2007: I see two of the best films I've seen in a year: The Lives of Others and C.R.A.Z.Y.; my brother turns 40; I have a severe case of spring fever, complete with some fun un-Jen-like possibilities! | 38 |
| 80 | Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh (1945) |
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"To what does the title refer?" asks my therapist. more... |
Winter–Spring 2007: I play craps & blackjack in Montreal; I pay off my car; I take a solo vacation to Waikiki Beach where I never miss a day of surfing. | 23 |
| 81 | The Adventures of Augie March by Saul Bellow (1953) |
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This book takes me so long to read, I have nearly forgotten how to update this Web site! more... |
Autumn 2006– Winter 2007: I tank severely in the Bob Dylan look-a-like/sound-a-like competition; I fast solo for 10 days; my dad arrives unexpectedly for X-mas in VT when he gets stranded on the East Coast while traveling; I've been doing a lot of gambling; we get a monster snowstorm from which we are all still digging out; I celebrate my 38th b-day yesterday by drinking Goji juice, spritzing my face with a cucumber/ginseng mist, going to a yoga class, and having a mocha latte (nuff said!)...I think I may be mutating...which is OK. |
31 |
| 82 | Angle of Repose by Wallace Stegner (1971) |
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Everybody loves Stegner! more... |
Summer–Autumn 2006: My dad has a heart attack(!?) but is OK; proving that the more things change, the more they stay the same: Just as I am newly divorced, my brother gets married. | 18 |
| 83 | A Bend in the River by V.S. Naipaul (1979) |
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Higher up on the list we go...but this is not one of my favorites. If you want to read a better book about Africa, read Mating by Norman Rush instead. more... |
Summer 2006: "Kiss me, I'm divorced!"; proving that there is such a thing as a free lunch, I begin a year-and-a-half's worth of coursework, part time, in digital forensics, with a continuance of unemployment insurance for the duration (& everything's paid for by the government); the 3rd annual houseboating trip—despite a dearth of sunshine—is our best yet, I think. | 34 |
| 84 | The Death of the Heart by Elizabeth Bowen (1938) |
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The narrative never really grabs me. This book is easily surpassed by, certainly not all, but many others on the list. more... |
Summer 2006: Frenchie visits from Colorado; Heidi, Jill, Margaret, & I attend the Willie Nelson concert outdoors, at which he serenades the full moon rising over the meadow with Moonlight in Vermont; Moxie is feeling much better; my unemployment runs out, but federal bureaucrats drag their heels when it comes time to extend TRA money to me. | 17 |
| 85 | Lord Jim by Joseph Conrad (1900) |
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Not the easiest read by any means, but worth making your way through it. more... |
Summer 2006: My dog suddenly suffers from incontinence, joint pain, & intestinal upset, making my life with her challenging & just plain sad (medication to treat any one of these symptoms seems to exacerbate the others, while her ailments destroy my house little by little right before my eyes). | 15 |
| 86 | Ragtime by E.L. Doctorow (1975) |
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We come to the second book on the list that I have read before, and loved even then. more... |
Spring–Summer 2006: My therapist tells me I am "doing hard work" & I don't disagree with him; three weeks until I must decide my next move employment- or school-wise. | 3 |
| 87 | The Old Wives' Tale by Arnold Bennett (1908) |
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Now we're moving in the right direction! This novel stands head & shoulders above the rest thus far. You want the paragon of classic literature? Step convincingly back to a time when people got their news from the town crier, & the expression, "lo!" (with punctuation thus), found its way into the middle of conversation! more... |
Spring 2006: Still collecting unemployment (facing the chance to have it extended & take classes for a while); my transitional living arrangement (in an apartment) at times feels longer-term; while the legal dissolution of our relationship pends in family court, my ex moves on to polyamory, which leaves me feeling more curious than wounded. | 1 |
| 88 | The Call of the Wild by Jack London (1903) |
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This is the third time around for me and this much-loved book from my youth! more... |
Spring 2006: About 1/2 way through my unemployment benefits; drumming up a little freelance work; glorious early spring weather; running & working out again. | 9 |
| 89 | Loving by Henry Green (1945) |
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Wow—this is a short tale that is a very quick read. more... |
Spring 2006: My brother announces that he is getting married—not engaged...married—after a mere 5 months. As a result, my dad & I frantically run interference. | 44 |
| 90 | Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie (1980) |
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Let's just say that Rushdie is a writer's writer. *sigh* more... |
Winter–Spring 2006: My brother is dating a stripper; I am now single; I collect unemployment for the 1st time in my life; the 2nd anniversary of my mother's death comes & goes; I undergo laser eye surgery! | 49 |
| 91 | Tobacco Road by Erskine Caldwell (1932) |
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A spare volume in which not a word is wasted, this book is incisive and intense. more... |
Autumn 2005: On extended "vacation" in California, due to job and relationship woes, my father treats me to the first cruise of my life...The Mexican Riviera! | 10 |
| 92 | Ironweed by William Kennedy (1983) |
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Despite heavy critical acclaim, this book is nowhere near being my favorite! more... |
Autumn 2005: We undertake & complete our annual 10-day cleanse/fast. | 43 |
| 93 | The Magus by John Fowles (1965) |
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This novel is just complex enough to leave me feeling that I misundertand it, but is so well written & captivating that... what's not to like? more... |
Summer–Autumn 2005: Two weeks until unemployment finds me still being paid but hardly working; permanent remedy of the plumbing disaster still pends; my partner & I consider separating (while simultaneously considering further business & real estate dealings). | 2 |
| 94 | Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys (1966) |
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Here is the first book on the list that I really haven't enjoyed very much at all. more... |
Summer 2005: I lose my job to people in India & the Philippines who work for 27 cents an hour, have no child labor laws, safety standards, or health coverage; we complete our home renovation project (but not without the plumbing from the 3rd floor leaking into the 2nd floor). | 48 |
| 95 | Under the Net by Iris Murdoch (1954) |
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I like this book a fair amount on a microcosmic level, but macrocosmically I think the story falls a bit flat. more... |
Spring–Summer 2005: I travel to Iceland on vacation; my brother is diagnosed with thyroid cancer. | 14 |
| 96 | Sophie's Choice by William Styron (1979) |
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Here is yet another book in which the main character bears striking resemblance to the author! more... |
Winter–Spring 2005: My partner's dad dies; we begin a major construction project on our house; I see a therapist for the first time in my life. | 8 |
| 97 | The Sheltering Sky by Paul Bowles (1949) |
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Main characters named "Port," "Kit," & "Tunner"??? You're kidding me, right? I start out HATING this book. more... |
Winter 2005: I start back to work full time. | 5 |
| 98 | The Postman Always Rings Twice by James Cain (1934) |
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I keep waiting for some scene that features a mailman, but it never comes! more... |
Winter 2004: I travel to Hawaii for my mother's memorial service. | 11 |
| 99 | The Ginger Man by J.P. Donleavy (1955) |
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I would have enjoyed reading this book SO much more back when I was a teenager! more... |
Summer–Autumn 2004: On our annual houseboating trip, Jill breaks her neck. | 13 |
| 100 | The Magnificent Ambersons by Booth Tarkington (1918) |
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This is a wonderful story with a simple premise that is not revealed until the very end: redemption via love. more... |
Spring–Summer 2004: My mom has just passed away. | 7 |